Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
