Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
