His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
this beer tastes like vomit already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize