I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
