Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I wear drunk well.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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