ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
