if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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