the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize