Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
