Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
