Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
