Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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