After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
