Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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