I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
