I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize