hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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