my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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