I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
My vagina just clenched in fear
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
