I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize