Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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