He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
