i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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