I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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