Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
