Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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