Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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