If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
