I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
