so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
