So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Randomize
