Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
