the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
