So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
