the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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