so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
