It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
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