look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
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The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
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I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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