She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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