Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
