Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
