Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
