I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
