i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I smell stomach acid.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
