I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
