Whod you bang
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
