very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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