He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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