she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
