My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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