I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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