I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize