so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
