you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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