Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
