:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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