covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
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