Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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