I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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